Words for a Tired Mama…
From St. Louis Maternity and Newborn Photographer Amber Sargent
For those who don’t know, October 4th I had a baby! It was my second baby, but my first is 14, so its been many years since I had a newborn. I tried to prepare my family for what having a newborn is like. I told them, “We’re all going to be really tired!” and “The first 6 weeks are the hardest!”. In reality, I should be have been preparing myself!
I am not a very mushy or emotional person. Being a photographer, I am very sentimental with memories and photos, but I really do not cry much. Apparently, I forgot what hormones, pure exhaustion, and a precious newborn will do to you. I came across this poem posted in one of my mom groups a few weeks ago, and I could not get through even half of it before I started crying. My baby was about 6 weeks old when I first tried reading this, and today was the first time I was able to read the whole thing through without ugly crying (still teared up though).
Besides being a new mom and the hormones, it also hits close to home at a time where I am trying to figure out if I let my baby “cry it out”, or just keep snuggling and rocking my sweet baby to sleep. It’s easy to get caught up in wanting your baby to sleep through the night in an effort to finally get some sleep, but don’t forget that your beautiful new baby is not used to this big scary world yet. Not to mention, most moms have to go back to work at some point. I myself will be returning to work in a few weeks and will be away from home 24 hours at a time! That means that 10 times a month, I will not get to snuggle my little one to sleep, which just completely breaks my heart!
Tired moms, the house cleaning can wait. Treasure these tiny moments and don’t forget that your baby thinks you are absolutely perfect just the way you are. You are doing a great job, Mama! Hope you enjoy this beautiful and innocent poem, and feel free to share with any other new moms who might need to hear these words. :)
Translated from: https://www.liefdevaneenmoeder.nl/mama-word-eens-wakker/
Author: Mildred Vuyk
Dear Mama,
Could you wake up for a minute? I know it's hard for you to open your eyes - we haven't slept a lot yet tonight. But mama, I kinda need you right now. You see, the thing is, I feel a bit lonely at the moment. I'm laying here in my crib and I'm somewhat cold.
I didn't mean to cry so I'm sorry I did. I've been trying to get your attention by making some noises for a while now but you were in such a deep sleep, you couldn't hear me. I don't know how else to get your attention. During the day, I see and hear you all make noises and I see you respond well to each other. You talk to me like that too. And I try very hard but I don't know how to do that yet. So I cry so you'd listen to me.
Mama, I'm sorry for crying. Like I said, I feel a bit lonely. I just spent nine months inside your belly where I've always felt safe. It's a bit scary to me to be in such a big bed all by myself. I miss your heartbeat, the rushing of your blood, the warmth and the food.I miss your breathing and your hands you put over me to protect me when I still was inside your belly.
So mama, would you please listen to me? I'm calling for you in the only way I'm able to. I feel really alone. I need your warmth and your peace for a moment. I need to know for sure you're still here. So can I come lay with you for a little while to feel your warmth?
Some cuddles first. Mama, this feels so nice. When I feel you holding me while you gently rock me and when I can smell and feel you, I feel so safe. I can feel your hand on my back and my ear is placed just right on your heart. Mom, this is home to me. Do you remember back when we were always together? I always felt like this back then. Sometimes I miss that time. It was so nice to be close to you.
I hear you softly whisper into my ear "Everything is okay little one, everything is fine". Your voice is so soft and familiar. You smell good mom. A bit like me and a bit like you.
Mama, will you hold me just a little longer? I'm really tired and I feel so relaxed in your arms. It almost feels like before. I'm going to close my eyes for a little while, okay? Can I please stay with you here a little longer to enjoy your love and your presence?
And can I drink some more? Mama, since we're laying like this anyway...I'd like to ask you something. I know, it sounds pretty sad because I can't talk like you can yet so I'm sorry for crying again. But mama, can I please drink some more? My throat is dry and my tummy is empty and since we're here anyway...maybe I can have a few more sips? Your milk tastes delicious and is so warm and familiar.
Thanks mom, that's exactly what I needed. I was really really thirsty. Your finger on my cheek feels great by the way. And you're smiling at me. Nothing makes me happier than seeing your smile and feeling your presence. I'll close my eyes again, okay? Please don't put me away straight away, I really enjoy falling asleep here. This feels really good. Can I stay with you for another hour or so?
My tummy hurts. What is that?! Mama! Can you feel this? Mom? My tummy hurts so bad. What is happening? Please help me mama, I don't know what's happening. I've never felt anything like this.
Thank you for rubbing my belly mom. It's late and everyone is asleep. I'm so happy you're here for me. I don't know what I'd do without you mama. My tummy already hurts less and when you hold me like that...I feel pretty tired. Maybe I'll close my eyes again. Please hold me a little longer?
Can I have more cuddles? You won't believe this mama! I'm a bit scared. I just woke up and I didn't know where I was for a second. It was all dark and a little cold again. I know you're tired mama. But I really missed you, can I please be with you again for a while?
Mama, I can see that you're tired. There are tears in your eyes and every now and then a tear rolls down your cheek. I'm sorry mama but I feel really strange in this new world. I miss home. I miss always being close to you.
Sometimes I feel a tear fall on my head while you gently rock me. You're singing me a song so that I can go back to sleep. You softly dry the tears that fell on my head with your hand. That feels nice mom, do that again?
I fall asleep on your chest. You feel so soft, so familiar. There's nowhere I sleep better than here. My legs are pulled up, just like they were back when I still lived with you. I can hear your heartbeat again and I move along with your breathing.
I will learn soon. Mama, you're the best place to be. I'm so glad I get to come to you over and over again. I don't like being unable to just ask either but I'm really happy you listen to me when I call for you.
Soon, I'll be able to be there for you. Or for my brothers or sisters. Or for my friends in school. You're teaching me how to take care of someone. You're teaching me that you listen, even when I can't ask. You're teaching me I'm safe, even when sometimes it feels like I'm not. You're teaching me that you love me, even when you're very tired. Thank you.
And mama, I love you.
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